Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
