he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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