just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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