So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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