I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
