At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
