God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
