hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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