yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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