yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
