i think my mom watched the whole time
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
