Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
