Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
