its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
