You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
