you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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