all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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