I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
