After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
