she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
