I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize