My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
