I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Sober January is a disaster.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
