he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
