shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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