He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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