just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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