First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
