he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
how does that bad decision feel?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
