while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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