put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I need a burrito and a hug.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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