We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
