8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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