last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
