woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
