She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
