I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize