i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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