sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
