I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
