I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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