so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
