the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize