you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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