jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
