p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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