I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
