Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
