and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
