Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
