hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
