Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
