How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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