Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You took a bar mat shot.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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