She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
tell me about the fingering
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