it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
