so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
