I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
