I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
