well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
