hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
