3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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