mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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