So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
