Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
