But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
