So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize